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When in Pakistan

Bride and groom hold hands during Pakistani wedding

By Monalisa Esteben

I remember when I arrived in Pakistan that I was struck by how it was such a very different environment. I sensed I had to be cautious all the time. People were staring at me every time I was in public places. Going to the market I saw mostly men, in the restaurants - men serving, in the offices – men! Everywhere it was all men. In my mind I wondered where are the women?

Monalisa and friend
Monalisa (left) and friend

It was difficult to understand at first but as time went by I started to feel confident and started to interact with the people around - with the men especially. My years in Pakistan have been a blessing to look back on and savor all that has happened that influenced my being. It was a bonus to have learnt new things about life and to have been challenged in my understanding of my womanhood. It’s always a joy and a challenge to be in a new society like Pakistan.

Living with the women is one of the joyous things that mission has given me. But like the woman at the well, I have to have that courage to go beyond the people’s culture with respect. It is a sweet challenge because it includes many dimensions in order not to hurt or go beyond the unexpected. Sometimes when I think about the wedding season, I always wonder how young girls and boys will be able to survive at their young age. It’s a culture like one we once had back home. I recall similar stories of some of our elders on how they got married. One of my grandmothers once told me of how young she was when our grandfather married her. Parents didn’t oppose it at all, instead they freely allowed their daughter to be married at a young age.

Now that I am back in Pakistan, it’s again the wedding season. I have to embrace again marriage as that part of their life which is really rooted in this culture.

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